I have been building and running my own self-employed business for over a decade, and even now it’s established, it can have me working all day and even through the evening up until bedtime.  Like Mike Pickles, owner of Really Useful Products, once said at a networking event I attended ‘I always thought I worked hard, until I ran my own business’.

When I’m on my computer or my phone working then I’m often in the zone and can completely block out my husband who is trying to talk to me!

On top of this we have two children and we were doing up a fixer-upper for a few years, and have since moved and spent another few years doing up our new home! So, more often than not, any kind of romantic relationship with my husband has had to take a back seat.  It can often feel like I'm too busy for a relationship, even though I'm married!

It’s easy to feel like your busy schedule gets in the way of a healthy relationship. Many couples wonder how to make a relationship work when you're both busy and struggling to find enough time for each other. You may ask yourself how to balance a busy schedule and a relationship without sacrificing one or the other. I’ve learned that it’s about being intentional with your time and making every moment together count, even if it’s just a short conversation or a quick meaningful hug during a hectic day.

Oh, and since I started my own businesses that are all consuming... my husband has also since set up his own businesses, and now he realises just how consuming it can be.  Giving us even less time for relationship time!

Still, our relationship has managed to survive both of us having busy schedules.  So if you're wondering how to make a relationship work when you're both busy, here’s how I believe we make it work.

Find Your Own Hobbies

It’s really important to find your own hobbies and interests to ensure you are content by yourself.  If your other half is working long hours then you need to be able to entertain yourself. 

When your busy partner is tied up with work or other commitments, it’s important to find fulfilment in your own activities. This not only helps when you're dating a busy man, but also makes it easier to avoid resentment when your partner is too busy with work. By finding joy in your hobbies, you’ll be less likely to feel neglected and more prepared to spend quality time together when the opportunity arises.

You can't purely rely on your partner for entertainment and preventing your own loneliness. Learn to cherish your alone time and practice self-care.

Make Sure Your Time Together is Quality Time Together

Too often we are distracted by modern technology and glued to our phones, even when we spend time with those we love.  It’s so easy to find out information by picking up our iPhones and we easily do this even in the middle of watching a film together or enjoying a meal.

It’s important to totally switch off from work and digitally when spending time together as a couple.  Put phones in another room and give each other your full attention, even if just for one evening per week!

In a busy relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of the importance of shared time. If you’re wondering how to make time for your partner despite your demanding schedules, planning regular time without distractions is key. Making time for your partner can mean setting aside specific evenings or even spontaneous moments during the day where you focus solely on each other. The goal is to prioritise these times just as much as you would an important work meeting.

Communicate

If you start to feel neglected in your relationship or that the other is overworking, then communicate your feelings to one another and talk.  Don’t bottle worries up or let them build into feelings of resentment or anger that can result in an argument.

Conflicting schedules in a relationship can lead to miscommunication or feelings of neglect. When you're trying to figure out how to deal with a partner who is always busy, open conversations about expectations and needs are essential. Whether you’re dealing with a busy boyfriend or a partner overwhelmed by work, honesty about how their absence affects you can help both of you make adjustments and find balance.

It’s much better to be open and talk about things as you feel them to come to a solution.

Support Each Other

The best thing you can do in your relationship in any situation is to support each other and be understanding of the other’s situation.

If your other half needs to work long hours or put time into their business then understand why this is important to them.  Support them in their journey and they will support you in yours.

Understanding how to manage a relationship with a busy schedule involves recognising that both partners may have moments when work consumes them. How to make a relationship work with busy schedules means giving each other grace during these times and finding small ways to show you care. Whether it’s offering to help with something or simply being a listening ear, it’s about creating space for love, even in the midst of a busy schedule.

If they are working long hours then why don’t you run them a bath or cook the evening meal?

Make them a cup of tea if they’re nonstop or send a quick text to let them know you’re thinking of them and you know how hard they are working.

If they’ve allowed for your busy schedule and then theirs gets busy, it’s really only fair that you allow for this and support them as they supported you!

Be Affectionate

We aren’t very sentimental or ‘lovey dovey’ in our relationship, but even having a good hug each day can ensure we still feel connected physically and emotionally.

It can be hard to find time for intimacy when one or both of you have such busy schedules, especially when you throw kids into the mix too.  Keeping a relationship going after having kids can be tricky!

Feeling connected can become challenging when dating a busy man or navigating a relationship with someone whose job takes up most of their time. If you’re unsure how to deal with a busy boyfriend, even small gestures like holding hands or sending a sweet message during the day can maintain the emotional and intimate bond. When your partner is too busy with work, these seemingly insignificant moments of affection can strengthen the relationship.

Check out this article by ReGain about common intimacy issues and how to deal with them.  If your relationship has intimacy issues then you may wish to seek the help of a professional counsellor to help solve your problems.

Don't forget about special occasions such as Valentine's Day, anniversaries and other times you can celebrate your relationship and do something special together, even if it's ordering a takeaway!

Find Moments of Time to Spend Together Daily

Giving time in a relationship is so important, even if it's only small because you are so busy. Starting your day by sharing a coffee together and/or ending it by talking together for half an hour. Or even watching an episode of something with one another before falling asleep while snuggling, can really make a difference.  Even if you're too shattered to do anything else!

It’s normal to feel like you're too busy for a relationship when both of you have packed schedules. Still, making time in a relationship means being creative with how you spend your limited moments together. A quick coffee, a short walk, or even a phone call during lunch are great ways of how to make time for your partner when you feel like time is scarce. Learning how to make time for each other in a relationship is about grabbing those opportunities for connection whenever they arise.

Find little moments of time you can spend together throughout the day to connect, even if only for ten minutes here and there. 

Add Dates Into Your Schedule

Sure, work is important and working out is important, but your relationship is important too.  Don’t forget to add dates into your busy schedule, even on a weekly or fortnightly basis, so you can enjoy your relationship as a couple.  

If you can get childcare, then visit a new place together and have a romantic day/evening/weekend.  Here's some inspiration for date nights in Suffolk that are affordable that may give you some inspiration for date ideas wherever you are, that won't break the bank!

How to make more time for your partner doesn’t always mean grand gestures or lengthy dates. Even a simple dinner at home or a short afternoon outing can help maintain your bond. When you both have conflicting schedules in a relationship, it’s crucial to block out time on your calendar and treat it as non-negotiable. If you're in a long-distance relationship and trying to figure out how to deal with a busy boyfriend long distance, scheduling virtual dates or surprise care packages can work wonders.

You block time for appointments and other friends/family commitments, but one of the most important commitments is your relationship together! Block time out on your calendar to spend with one another and commit to it.

Treat Each Other

When juggling a busy schedule, it's important to take the time to show appreciation and treat your partner. Surprising your partner with a thoughtful gesture, such as cooking a special meal, giving a massage, or planning a surprise outing, can be a great way to show your love and appreciation.

A couples hamper is another thoughtful and romantic way to show your partner that you care. You can choose a predesigned hamper to suit, such as a cosy night in hamper for the perfect date night at home.  Some hampers can be customised with a variety of items, such as chocolates, wine, bath products, and more. You can even make your own couples hamper by selecting items that your partner loves.

Flowers are the standard and expected romantic gift, but they can be expensive too and not everyone likes getting flowers.  Even just buying their favourite chocolate bar as a surprise every now and then, or perhaps a small houseplant to pop on their work desk, anything that's a little reminder that they are loved and appreciated and thought about.

Relationships with a busy partner often require extra thoughtfulness to show you care. If you’re struggling with how to love a busy man, consider small gestures like surprising them with their favourite treat or organising a thoughtful date night. When your partner's work feels overwhelming, it’s easy to think they're too busy for relationship gestures, but making an effort to show affection can strengthen the bond during even the busiest times.

Whatever you do, make sure to show your partner that they are valued and loved. By taking the time to treat each other, couples can maintain a strong connection and keep their relationship going, even when life gets busy.

How to Make a Relationship Last When You Have a Busy Schedule: Final Thoughts & Round Up

Balancing a busy schedule and a relationship requires effort and commitment, but it is possible to make it work. It's important to communicate openly and support each other through the ups and downs of life. Finding moments of time to spend together, even if just for a few minutes a day, can go a long way in maintaining a strong connection.

Remember to prioritise your relationship and make time for each other, whether it's through regular date nights, couples hampers, or other thoughtful gestures. Small acts of kindness and appreciation can make a big difference in keeping the spark alive, even when life gets hectic.

To round up:

• Find your own hobbies and interests to prevent feelings of loneliness and make sure to practice self-care.
• Ensure that the time spent together is quality time by putting phones away and giving each other your full attention.
• Communicate openly with each other and avoid bottling up feelings of resentment or anger.
• Support each other through understanding and being there for each other during busy times.
• Make small but thoughtful gestures to show appreciation and affection, like running a bath, cooking a meal, or sending a text.
• Don't forget to celebrate special occasions and make time for regular dates and moments of connection.
• Consider a couples hamper as a thoughtful and romantic way to show your love and appreciation.
• Remember that a successful relationship is a team effort and requires effort, communication, and commitment.

Above all, remember that a successful relationship is a team effort. By working together and supporting each other, you can overcome any challenges and build a fulfilling and loving partnership.

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This article was originally posted in 2020 and updated in 2023 and 2024.  We've both been running our own businesses, raising children and doing up houses for more than a decade now... the busyness is real...!

At the end of the day, how to maintain a relationship when both are busy comes down to prioritising each other. Sometimes, being busy can feel like an excuse in a relationship, but with the right effort, you can navigate those challenges. Whether you're dealing with a busy partner relationship or wondering what to do when your boyfriend is too busy with work, remember that small moments, acts of kindness and giving time in a relationship can go a long way.