Has motherhood turned you into a blubbering wreck?

Becoming a mother definitely makes your priorities change and of course your body, but it can also make you way more emotional as I continue to discover!  Things that never used to bother me in the slightest now turn me into a blubbering wreck.  In normal day to day life I’m not even a crying sort of person.  I used to be more emotional in my early twenties, but not so really anymore. Not in my day to day life anyway, but the thing that is starting to get me is TV and films.  Especially if there are children involved.

I think this is something to do with becoming a parent and understanding the emotional attachment to your child?

The film that got me last night was Cast Away.

I knew before we even started watching it that I was going to cry.

We were having some random conversation about how if I ‘lost’ Ben, how long would it take me to move on.  Yes random I know.  I jokingly said two weeks and just imagine if he came back and I had a new husband already.  I said you know, kind of like Cast Away, but a lot quicker.

Ben said ‘huh?’

He had never ever watched Cast Away! 

Whaaaaat?!  I can’t believe anyone hasn’t watched Cast Away.  Not only do I love every film Tom Hanks is in, but I had to watch this film when released if only to see how it’s possible to make an entire film entertaining with only one character on screen for the duration (pretty much).

So we watched it.  And as predicted at the end I couldn’t hold back the waterworks. 

Trying not to let Ben see I was crying I popped my arm over the top of my head in a weird uncomfortable (but I’ll pretend I’m just chilling comfortably) triangle position, so it blocked his view of my eyes.  Then I held back the tears by holding a giant bubble of air in my throat that just wanted to be released in a wail along with a bucket load of tears.  Do you ever do that?  It kind of hurts!

I’ve no idea if he knew what I was doing or that some tears were just streaming down my face anyway, and I ended up telling him that the film made me cry.  It’s the ending where he sees his girlfriend, but she’s now married with a child.  She thought he’d died seeing as his plane crashed and he wasn’t found for four years and even held his funeral and felt like she had to move on.  Whilst away he dreamed of getting back to the love of his life and it kept him going.  Now she probably wishes she’d have held on and waited.  But she also has a new husband and a daughter, so she needs to be with them; such an awkward ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ situation.  I just feel so sorry for them all.

When I used to watch the film I never shed a tear.  I thought it was sad, but I just thought it.  I never showed it.  Now I can’t even hold the tears back!  I wanted so bad to tell Ben why I found it so sad once we went to bed, but every time the words entered my head ready to say them, I got that lumpy bubble of air back in my throat and couldn’t speak as I would just start blubbering again!