Ever wondered what are the secrets to a successful long lasting relationship?  Until I met my husband I'd had a few unsuccessful relationships that lasted a few weeks to a few years.  If I was honest with myself I knew deep down that some of those relationships were never going to be successful, long before they ended. 

It is true that you just know when you find the perfect person - within a few weeks of meeting my husband I knew we would marry one day!  I'd never felt the same with anyone else. 

There are lots of guides on the secrets to having a long term relationship, but here I want to share with you my personal tips as I have been in my relationship with my husband since 2011!

Top tips for a long lasting relationship: 

I’ve been with my husband since 2011 and I’m pleased to say we are very happy.  We’re very similar in some ways, but different in others.  Though I think that’s just the whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus scenario.

Are you wondering how to make a relationship last when we’re all so unique?  Here are my top tips for a long lasting relationship: 

1. Find the right person

This is a must!  I’m sure most of you have been there – in a relationship where you’re infatuated with them, but argue all the time or they’re just not so infatuated with you?  Well, I have.  It’s a crappy feeling, but it’s best to break away and find the right person.  The person who loves you equally and feels exactly the same way about you.  The person who you don’t argue with about every little thing, because the relationship is easy.  You’re a match.

2. Be best friends

My husband isn’t just my husband, but my best friend too.  He knows me more than anyone else.  He’s the only one I can tell everything to, including personal stuff, my honest opinion and any crazy thoughts.  I can be myself around him without fear of being judged.  We have a lot of banter and love being with each other as friends too.  It makes our bond even stronger.

3. Know who wears the trousers

I had to include this.  When I told my husband I’d be writing this blog post and any input was appreciated he replied ‘just say the husband has to do what he’s told all the time.  THAT’S the secret’.  So I guess I wear the trousers!  I guess if there were two people who wanted to be in charge there could be a lot of friction…!

4. Compromise

OK so as much as I wear the trousers and get my own way most of the time, I still have to compromise.  Sometimes.  Compromise is so important in relationships.  It’s not always all about you.  You have to respect their ideas, decisions, likes and interests too.  If you both feel really strongly about something and can’t agree, then you’re going to have to meet somewhere in the middle in order to move forward.

5. Get a good night’s sleep

The last point brings me nicely on to this one.  Many of us have to compromise with the sleeping arrangements.  Perhaps you like a firm mattress, but he likes a soft, so you settle on a medium?  Maybe your other half is much larger than you and you keep rolling into the centre of the bed? 

Sleep is so important and one bad night’s sleep can affect your entire mood the whole next day.  This can cause unnecessary arguments because you’re just.   so.    darn.    tired.

6. Never stop laughing together

Life can get tough, and sometimes we all need a bit of humour to lighten the mood. My husband and I often find ourselves in laughter over the silliest things, and honestly, it makes everything feel better. Whether it’s an inside joke or just laughing at something ridiculous, keeping your sense of humour alive can strengthen your connection and make even the hard times more bearable.

7. Keep the spark alive

When you’ve been together for years, it’s easy to fall into a routine. Don’t let things become too predictable! Surprising each other with little gestures, planning date nights, or simply showing affection can keep that “new relationship” feeling going. My husband will sneak up behind me and massage my shoulders when I'm washing up, as an example, and it always makes me smile! 

8. Share responsibilities

Let’s be honest—life is busy, and the last thing anyone wants is to feel like they’re doing it all. Whether it’s cooking dinner, tidying up, or dealing with family admin, sharing the load makes life feel more balanced. It also means less time arguing about who hasn’t emptied the dishwasher!

 

9. Appreciate the little things

When you’re together for a long time, it’s easy to take each other for granted. Don’t! Saying thank you for the small gestures—like when they put the bin out without being asked or remember your favourite snack—makes all the difference. A little appreciation goes a long way.

10. Support each other’s dreams

You’re a team, and that means cheering each other on in life. Whether it’s a new job, a personal goal, or a big idea, being each other’s biggest supporter builds a relationship that feels safe and empowering. My husband has always encouraged me to chase my dreams, and I do the same for him. It’s a win-win! 

Conclusion

So, there you have it—my personal tips and secrets of a long-lasting relationship. There’s no magic formula, but with love, effort, and a bit of laughter, you can build something truly special. Relationships aren’t always easy, but they’re so worth it when you’re with the right person. Remember, it’s the little things you do every day that make all the difference. Here’s to many happy years ahead!